Dating Anxiety? This Will Help You Feel Grounded Again

“I hope they like me.”
“What if they think I’m awkward?”
“Do I even look like my photos?”
“What if I run out of things to say?”

Ahhh, we’ve all been there. These are the thoughts that can start running through our minds before a first date. It’s like we’re already sabotaging ourselves before the date even begins! But here’s the good news: you can change this. It is absolutely possible to approach dating with more ease, clarity, and self-trust.

Here are a few things I guide my clients through before a first date:

The biggest issue many people face in dating is this: they immediately focus on the other person. The question that takes over is always, “Will they like me?” But the question you should be asking is: “I wonder if I’ll like them.”

That single shift changes everything. It redirects your energy back to you. Because you also get to choose. It’s not just about “Who will want me?”, it’s about “Who do I want to give the privilege of being in my life?”

Now, you might feel like that’s selfish or conceited. We’ve been taught that thinking this way is too much. But here’s the truth: You’re not saying “I’m better than you.” What you’re actually saying is, “I value myself. I value my time, my energy, and what I bring to the table. So I’m looking for someone who aligns with that.”

See the difference?

So how do you get to that place? One of the first things I have my clients do is create a Dating & Relationship Blueprint. This is a simple yet powerful exercise.

Grab a piece of paper and start writing:

• What do you want in your ideal relationship?

• How do you envision it feeling?

• How do you and your partner show up for each other?

• How do you handle conflict?

• How do you express love?

• What do you both value?

• What morals or lifestyle choices do you share?

Write your heart out. Don’t let your mind stop you with thoughts like, “That’s unrealistic” or “That will never happen.” Because healthy, loving relationships do exist. I’m living proof!

Once you’ve written your blueprint, I want you to read it before every date. Let it be your reminder of what you’re looking for. That way, you’re less likely to put on rose-colored glasses and get swept up in chemistry alone.

Because guess what? It doesn’t matter if they’re a 10/10. If kindness is a core value for you, notice how they treat the waiter. Pay attention to how they speak about people in their lives. These are the things that reveal true character.

After the date, take a moment to reflect.
How did your body feel around them?
Did your chest feel tight? Was your stomach uneasy?
Were you relaxed and grounded or on edge?

Our bodies speak to us with deep wisdom. Tuning in to those sensations helps you see past the surface.

Then write down what you genuinely admired about them. And no, I’m not talking about physical features. Yes, attraction is important, but when it becomes the main focus, it can be blinding, especially at the beginning.

Be mindful. Be intentional. Because choosing a partner is the most important decision you will ever make. Don’t take it lightly.

And if you’re wanting more support in your dating life, I’m here to help.
Whether you're looking for clarity, confidence, or just someone to walk alongside you as you navigate this journey, I’ve got you.

Let’s find the love that actually feels good. 💛

👉 Book a discovery call with me and let’s explore what’s really going on in your relationship. You deserve love that feels safe, reciprocal, and fulfilling. Let’s take the first step together. 💛

If this resonated with you and you’re ready to step into a healthier, more aligned love life, visit my website for more resources, coaching options, and support on your journey.

Let’s create the love life you truly deserve. 💕

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